Mr Bean

This Made Me Laugh

Lifted from Conrado de Quiros Column, PDI 7/21/2005

Marcos did launch a massive livelihood program during his twilight years called KKK, named after Bonifacio's revolutionary group. It did recall its illustrious precedent in an ironic sense. A joke went around that three people borrowed money from the KKK to put up small businesses. The first one went into piggery and became bankrupt; a pestilence swept over his brood and he lost everything. The second went into planting coconut and he too became bankrupt, and what little he had left after paying for farm inputs Danding Cojuangco stole with his coconut levy. The third however became a millionaire, and he didn't have to spend much. He had a bust of Marcos made in his backyard and he charged different fees for different things: P10 for slapping the bust, P20 for pounding it with a fist, and P50 for pissing on it. He never lacked for a queue in front of his house.

Ms Arroyo launches a livelihood program, she will create many millionaires.

Why Are Killer Whales Dying in Subic?

Closure of Subic marine park urged

ENVIRONMENTALISTS in the country say they are rushing to save the two remaining false killer whales kept in a marine park in Subic Bay, along with dolphins and sea lions, after another juvenile whale used for the park's shows died last week.

The Earth Island Institute-Philippines and the Philippine Animal Welfare Society have sought the closure of the popular Ocean Adventure park partly operated by the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority, a government entity.

The death of Hook, a 13-year-old female false killer whale, on July 8 has revived the campaign against the use of marine mammals for amusement shows, they said.

Hook is the third whale to die in captivity at the Ocean Adventure Park since it opened in 2001.

From PDI, 07/18/2005
The Port Must Be Contaminated by Toxic Wastes (Damned those Americans).

Pipe Bomb and the Mob

Recently, I managed to browse the internet about How to Make a Pipebomb (funny, i felt the rush to make one) and was so surprised how easy anybody can build one from crude industrial materials from your favorite hobby store. I won't go into details about mixin' and matchin' those parts but after reading Batangbakal's forwarded article on the sorry state of our sordid nation, I almost had my second thoughts.

Last night (July 13, 2005) was by far, the biggest rally the opposition had ever mounted against the beleaguered GMA. Not that I am against it for I myself is a veteran of EDSA Dos but the thought that most of its participants were either paid audiences or losers of the past elections or of their political gambit to grab power were enough for one's taste to swirl and puke. For the sake of argument, let's just set aside the question whether GMA was really elected (though I am convinced that you need no proof for a man who has been caught by his wife in bed with another woman on the extent to which he had his manhood inside her to technically qualify as cheating his wife, de Quiros, PDI 7/14/05). But let me just ask, why in the hell do we let these unthinking "masa" decide the moribund fate of MY country whose lifeblood stemmed from the very fruit of MY hard earned middle class taxes. We are the ones subsidizing them so they can use the road and go to public school, but look at them blockading your way (di tuloy ako nakapagpagupit, 'tragis kayo). I mean, putang ina naman kayo! Wala naman kayong say sa ikauunlad ng bayan natin, pwede ba,tumigil na kayo at bayaan na lang nating due process to lead its natural course? Except maybe baka di nyo naiintindihan ito (putang ina ulit)! O, sumali pang mga estudyante na to, humihingi lang naman ng baon sa Nanay. Buti pa, ipunin nyo na lang baon nyo para may pambili kayo ng iPod ('no yon?) But seriously, I personally think that these students rights are still suspended pending their actual contributions to the coffers of the state. Tapos, pagkagraduate nyo, lalayas din naman kayo sa Pinas! Tsk, tsk. Buti pa, kung 'di kayo makatiis kay Gloria, tutal wala pa rin naman kayong silbi, kayo na lang ang umalis dito sa Pilipinas.

One more thing, some solons are preparing for their contra-rally, some sort of show of force daw! Funny, i would like to think that they too would spend the people's money. Nakow, 'san nyo naman kinulimbat 'yan? Baka Peace Bonds na naman 'yan! Let the opposition mount their series of rallies, tingnan nyo mauubusan din pondo si Binay!

... but honestly, when I think of all these things, my hope of this country being great again is almost as bleak as my fellow workers' next salary increase. Kala kasi nila, it would be convenient for us changing presidents just like changing our underwear. Tsk,tsk.

"Honey, where are my plumbing materials and my wrench"? Time to visit True Value.